Well this week was a bit stressful but I´m learning that sometimes you just have to let things go and move on. The week started off slow because on Tuesday we had Zone Leader Council and once again Pres. Pinho talked about the printing off the graphics incident in front of everyone. It was a good training. It´s so wierd now. I realized today that I only have 9 months left on the mission! That is just crazy. I realized I was old at the council also because I am one of the oldest zone leaders and there are a bunch of new people that I have never met on the mission.
Wednesday was Mission Leadership Training. It got pretty crazy. Pres. Pinho is changing EVERYTHING and they announced a bunch of changes to the rules and expectations here. Everyone was confused and didn´t understand (partly because everyone was indoctrinated with Pres. Jackson and Pres. Pinho is the opposite). It almost turned into a yelling match because everyone was disagreeing with eachother. Even the Assistants were contradicting eachother. In the end Pres. Pinho had to mark another training for this week to explain and get everyone on the same boat. For anyone that only had one mission president, you´re lucky because it is super hard ajusting and learning how to do things in a completely different way. I almost feel like I am being brainwashed and I have to forget everything I already learned about missionary work. But whatever, Pres. Pinho has the keys and I am in a position where I have to represent him so I better learn fast and get moving.
The rest of the week was challenging and has put us in an interesting situation. We started the week with 10 people marked for baptism this month and we finished the week with two. Practically everyone we were teaching fell through. Have you ever felt so frustrated that you just wanted to yell and cry at the same time but you couldn´t do either? That is how I felt Sunday night. But I´m learning that I can´t let myself get disapointed. I don´t have the ability to force anyone to do anything they don´t want to do even if they know they should, that´s part of God´s plan. Unfortunately not everyone is going to return to live with God. Not everyone is going to be happy for eternity. I´m always reminded of a saying that Nana gave me that is hanging up in my room back home which says "What we do in life, echoes in eternity" by Maximus. What we do today is defining our eternity and each and everyone of us has the personal responsibility to do what we know is right and if we don´t we´ll have to answer in front of God why we didn´t and Christ isn´t going to be able to do anything more to help us than what he already did. I can only show people the way and they have to follow. Maybe right now isn´t just the right moment for our old investigators or maybe I´ll have to testify against them on the Judgement Day, either way I did my part. Even though these people didn´t accept to follow the answers God gave them there is always someone else waiting, we just have to find them. Now we need to get out there and find the people that are ready for a commitment with God.
I know I seem ticked off right now but it really is true. I´m learning how to move on and pick myself up when difficult stuff happens. I know that next week I´ll probably have 20 emails waiting for me to give me some comfort. haha! Anyway, I don´t have much else to say. Thanks for the love and support. I love you all.
Elder MacLane Winsor Taggart